I've turned 29 recently. Yay. And one more year, I'll be be hitting the big 3-0—or what I consider as the age when you become an actual "adult."
Nonetheless, I've been asked several times with questions people my age often get. Most of the time, I just shrug those off. Smile and keep quiet especially when the elders are asking.
But there are times when I can't help but respond.
Most of time, in my head, I respond.
Of course, I don't want to come off as rude, but when you get asked with a question over and over and over again, it's either you get annoyed or you get used to it.
Because as you know, people ask questions when they care about you or they're just plainly curious.
So, let's cut to the chase. Here are the questions I often get as an adulting adult and how I would've responded [but didn't]:
DISCLAIMER: My responses below are exaggeration of what comes to mind when asked. Doing this for the lulz, and out of frustration. Heh.
1. Kailan ka mag-aasawa? | When are you going to marry?
Me, in my head: TEKA LANG HA, IKAW BA ANG MAGBABAYAD NG PANG-KASAL?
As you know, I've been in a long-term relationship and at my age, I am lucky to have somebody. So why are we not getting married yet? Some of my friends even know that I'm a sucker for weddings. Getting married should be easy at this point.
So why not?
The boyfriend and I already set a timeline on things. He's currently in Law School and we plan to settle once he's done and when he passes the Bar. (Hoping for the best on this one!) As for me, I continue to improve myself and from time to time, look for opportunities that would better my career path.
While it's true that we've been together for quite a while now and tying the knot would be the next step, we still would like to prioritize things that would help us out in the future. We are also saving up so we will be able to afford the things we would want to have by the time we're finally together.
Moreover, we think in this time of pandemic, it's something we should set aside first. Best to look out on each other, and take care of our loved-ones right now, so we'll be able to surpass this.
Admittedly, like those who ask me this question, there are times when I also get impatient. Sometimes it also causes our quick arguments, but somehow opens up some discussions on how we should deal with it.
But, I always keep in mind that one day, that day will come. And finally I'd be able to answer those people who ask.
2. Kailan ka pa magkaka-anak niyan? | When do you plan to have kids?
Me, in my head: SARILI KO NGA, 'DI KO MAALAGAAN NG MAAYOS. 'YUNG BABY PA KAYA?
Whenever the thought of having kids occurs to me, I always go back to the fact that even I, myself, can't take care of myself properly. What more when I already have another person to take care of?
I often hear people say that you won't really be that prepared when that time comes and all you have to do is deal with it. You swing it when it's there.
I don't believe in that.
It's a person's life we're talking about. It's not as if I'm getting another pet or a plant. I might be idealistic when I say this, but when that time comes when I decide to have a child of my own, I would like to be physically, mentally, emotionally, and most importantly, financially prepared. Do you know how much diapers and formula milk cost nowadays? No? Go check the baby aisle at the grocery to find out.
When that time comes, I would want nothing but the best for my baby.
I understand the concern from people who says it might be too late for me to give birth when I hit 30. Geriatric pregnancy, for one, could cause complications. But I personally know women who gave birth even at their late 30s and survived with their healthy, normal babies.
Maybe as long as I keep my body in check, I'd be okay. Besides—my body, my say.
3. Mayaman ka na siguro? | You must be rich by now?
Me, in my head: MAGPAPA-LIBRE KA BA?
This I don't get. Why do people meddle on other people's financial capacity?
The elders are the notorious ones who keep asking me this. Oh, she's been working for how many years now, maybe she has already saved up and invested on a car, a house, a business, etc.
Reality check—back in the day, it was easy. The economy was doing so much better and the cost of living was lower compared to now. You get a job, you get paid, then you can buy the stuff you want. Salary was enough for savings and luxury.
Now, have you ever wondered why your cart full of groceries back then worth Php3,000 is now only a basket when you check out from the cashier? Yup, inflation.
This is why even if someone has been working his/her ass off for a long time, and even if factoring in the salary raise he/she gets, it's much more difficult to save up nowadays. Some even have to work extra or have a side hustle to be able to live comfortably.
The important thing is, you know where your money goes.
As for me, I got myself an insurance policy that doubles as an investment and other means to save up unconsciously so I won't be tempted to withdraw or use it.
So, am I rich now? Not yet. But that's the goal.
4. Kailan ka bubuwag sa mga magulang mo? | When are you going to live away from your parents?
Me, in my head: LIBRE PAGKAIN EH, BAKIT BA?
No, but seriously, who wouldn't want to enjoy their mom's delicious cooking? I wouldn't trade it for the world.
When I transferred here in 2008 for college, I had to leave my family in Bicol and live on my own. Even after I graduated, I had to stay with my relatives and after that, in an apartment with my colleagues and had to live independently. Whenever I had to do chores or had to deal with some problems, it only made me miss my family even more.
So when they decided to move here with me in 2016, I thought it was the right time to make up for lost time. I'm lucky to have parents who support me and aren't too controlling so I can still freely do whatever I want to.
Besides, a few years now, I'll be starting my own family as well and of course, I had to enjoy these moments while I'm still with them.
***
These are some of the questions I often get but I have a long list. For sure, some of you can also relate but have a different way of responding to each. I would love to hear those.
Please note that these are only exaggerations but to be honest, whenever I get asked, I simply shut up or nod and smile.
Again—people ask because some genuinely care while the others are plainly curious. You just have to know how to handle these questions well especially if it's a potential material for rumors. When you say something, a thing or two, sometimes it spreads out like wildfire.
Maybe it's also part of the adulting process, when you arrive to that point when you don't care anymore what other people might say. You hear it, shrug it off, then go on with your life.
Know that these questions won't go away. Whatever you do in your life, people will still be asking. You just have to find out how to deal with it.