When I was waaaaay younger, I thought the 30-year-olds were already, well, old.
Old enough to be all-knowing. Old enough to have a set path, a stable life, and a flourishing career. It's like people in their 30s should already be set with what they want in life and what they would decide to do.
When I welcomed my 30s, yes, there were some changes but these are the ones I didn't expect I would have or experience.
Knowing myself, I tend to plan things ahead. I am admittedly ambitious and I am never contented with whatever I do. I've always been hungry in exploring more and trying out a lot of things. So I had to have my goals in place and a strategy to follow. But as I've mentioned in my previous posts, sometimes life's sudden turns takes you to a different place.
I may be in my 30s but this is not what I expected I would be when I was younger. It's not bad. It's a good kind of different and it changed a lot of my perspectives (and some decision-making I had) in life.
Here are some:
1. Getting married
In this day and age, marrying past your 20s is no longer an issue. I've seen too many couples getting married in their early and late 30s and this has become a trend nowadays for many. People are prioritizing other things first before finally tying the knot.
As for me, I am in a healthy and happy relationship (which I'm very grateful for). But considering how new we are in this relationship, we're still giving ourselves time to enjoy it.
We're also taking our time to save up for the wedding we want. It's not that grand. We already decided that an intimate wedding would be the most ideal, but of course, we both want it to be special.
What's good about this is that we're both clear on what we want. I don't have to sound too pushy each time this topic is raised because we're on the same page.
We're both ready but we have to remind ourselves that the wedding is just a one-day ceremony. Marriage, however, takes a lifetime.
2. Having kids
It's really hard for a woman in their 30s not to be judged when she doesn't have kids. You'll always hear, "Oh, anong balak mo? Mahihirapan ka na niyan manganak."
There are even people who would insist when I say I'm not yet ready and tell me: "Kapag nandiyan na 'yan, magiging ready ka na." Well, I'm already picturing myself crying even before the baby does. Haha!
I wrote about this before in my previous post and again, just to reiterate, I understand the concerns of many. But I've seen countless women in their 30s and even 40s who successfully bore children thanks to science. I'd like to believe that I can do the same.
While I haven't really changed my view on this, it made me realize how much more pressure is put on a woman in her 30s. All I have to say is, well, my body, my choice. I'm going to be ready when it comes but for now, we take it slow and steady.
And people, don't have kids just for the heck of it.
3. Having a Master's degree
Oh, this one was a hard pill to swallow.
When I got out of college, my plan was to take two years worth of work experience then take my Master's Degree. After two years, my problem was I can't support my plans financially. I was earning less than Php20,000 a month and was living alone in the city so I had to survive.
Another couple of years passed, I left a job thinking I would be able to find a more flexible job so I can squeeze in my post-grad. It didn't happen.
Then recently, I did the same. However, this time, when I was ready with my requirements, I had a technical problem during my exam. It was just a few days before the deadline and I did not have much time to retake it. I was also cramming to review for it because I was juggling my work turnovers and my application.
After so much pondering with what happened, I thought, "Is this still what I want? Is this still aligned with what I'm doing right now?" I was so close to finally doing it then, all of a sudden, it's like the universe telling me I'm not yet ready.
I took a break for a few months going back and forth with this decision. There were days when I just stared out of nowhere, in deep thought, thinking if what I did was right. finally, I thought that maybe I should set this aside for now.
It's still a plan, but maybe not anytime soon.
4. A career set in stone
Those few months I was on a break, I was also weighing my options if I should go back and apply for a regular job or look for freelancing opportunities. I was also managing my businesses which were both, thankfully, doing good.
The break helped me out a lot in making my short- and long-term plans. I had tons of realizations for my personal and professional life.
From a journalist to a hotelier to a PR & marketer. What's next?
Let's see.
5. Keeping people in my life
During the pandemic I lost people who were so close to me. No, they did not die. Lol. It's just that things happen so people decide to go on with their lives separately.
As we age, our circle of friends becomes smaller and smaller, and only a few ones tend to stay. Maybe your grade school bestfriend is no longer in touch with you. Or your former colleague you used to have lunch with barely even messages you. Perhaps your childhood friend barely even recognizes you.
And that's okay. These people became part of our lives for a reason. While they might not have stayed, they for sure made some impact in your life. But those who stayed are the ones you really have to cherish forever.
When I was in my 20s, I was so conscious with keeping so many people in my life. It wasn't a popularity contest, but rather having more people to talk to and be there with most of the time.
Now it's different. Having a few people who I constantly check and does the same for me is enough. I'm already happy with my bubble.
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So there. These are just a few things that changed when I hit my 30s. Could be the same concerns I wrote when I was 29 but some things shifted overtime.
There's this article from Vox I stumbled upon where it said that there's a pressure to search for your happiness in your 30s. I'd like to believe so, too. However, the article made some good points when it said:
"In our 30s, we are perhaps finally old enough to heed some good life advice. Don’t compare yourself to others. Practice gratitude. Embrace the beautifully messy, ordinary adult lives most of us lead. Don’t adhere too rigidly to any one vision for your life. Be flexible and adaptable. Figure out what you want versus what you think you want and adjust accordingly."
Flexibility and adaptability. Sounds about right.
Well, guess what? I'm ready to embrace the beautifully, messy, ordinary adult life that for sure's ahead of me. Exciting, isn't it?
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