Do you know that people are saying "tumataba ka ha" just because they don't know how to engage into a conversation?
While it kinda sucks being greeted with these words—moreso during the holiday season when we had our reunions with our families and relatives—we have to admit that it has become part of our Pinoy culture to start a conversation with "uy, tumataba ka" or "pumapayat ka, iha, kumain ka nga."
I got used to it. I was never a skinny girl even back when I was a kid and each time I hear this comment, it's either I try to come up with a creative way in responding or I just shut up and laugh at it.
It's only recently when I came to realize that people, particularly Filipinos, usually comment on looks because you know, they don't have anything to say to start the conversation. No, they won't start with whatever that has happened in your life. If you haven't seen each other for quite a while, they would automatically comment on your body.
Because that's the first thing they will see—your physical attributes. Your body.
Even if admittedly, we would get annoyed with as to why some people have a say with how we look, maybe it has been ingrained in our culture.
Is it okay? Definitely not. But it takes a lot of getting used to because that thing wouldn't change especially with the older generation who grew up with "uy, tumataba ka" as their opening remark.
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I've gained a lot of weight recently. Like a lot. I came to a point where I was about to break down inside a mall because none of the clothes I liked would fit (I was attending a wedding that's why I was on a hunt for an outfit).
One thing that snapped me back to my senses was when my boyfriend told me, "You know, you're tired. Let's go home. Take some rest and try to look for something else again tomorrow."
In which I did and boy, it was a good decision I followed him. I sent him photos of me trying on the clothes and he said, "See? It's not you. You just have to find the right clothes for you."
After hearing those words, I started to change my perspective on how I look. I may be bigger now, but I have curves in the right places.
I may have gained weight, but at least I'm not sick. I am healthy and I feel healthy.
I thank God always that I have a well-functioning body that gets through all my activities everyday.
And I am grateful that I have people around me who supports me no matter what size I am in.
***
Even though I am still trying to discipline myself into cutting down some pounds, I also try to change my outlook on how amazing our bodies are. Big or small, we have to appreciate it. Believe me, there is a part of your body that someone had always wished they have.
I've also been following a couple of body positivity content on social media, especially on Instagram and on Tiktok. Whenever I don't like what I see in front of the mirror, I ask myself, "There are girls who are even thrice my size but can rock a crop top, so why can't I?" While it takes a ton of confidence before I can finally achieve that, I am onto my baby steps.
***
My point here being is that our bodies can be subjects to a conversation and that's okay. You've probably heard this a million times but learn how to love the way you look and you'd be surprised how the universe will respond.
Be kinder to yourself. Besides, it's the voice in your head that matters most.
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